haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
