I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
