dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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