it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Randomize
