I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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