On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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