you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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