Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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