Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
