i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
