is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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