9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize