I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
