no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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