Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
