I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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