He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
