I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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