We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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