he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize