If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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