how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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