Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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