So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
