It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
