no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
