Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
