she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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