Acid is not a monday night drug
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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