U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
