so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
