Duck Duck Cougar?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
