she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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