I want you more than these girls want KFC
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
