Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
