If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
