hotel room ftw
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
