im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
