Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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