i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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