i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
