the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
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