So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
