I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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