a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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