do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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