I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
