And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
