The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
