dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
