Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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