My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
