I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
