what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Randomize
