I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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