I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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