I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Randomize
