I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
