im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
